


The Fair Copy

by lanyon



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, Ending of a relationship, M/M, implied infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve nods and pretends he understands. He’s never been good at picking his battles; he’s always picked them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fair Copy

**Author's Note:**

> +Please heed the warning for (implied) infidelity. Please heed an additional warning that Tony Stark is a rather selfish individual.  
> +Please note that Steve/Tony is _not_ the end-game pairing.  
>  +This story does not come from a noble place. This story comes from that place in me that adores Bucky Barnes, as the good man that he is, and his unending loyalty to Steve Rogers.  
> +Title from Chekhov's _Three Sisters_ , from which Bucky quotes in the story.

Bucky’s wearing soft sweatpants that are a little worn at the knees and at the crotch. They used to be Steve’s running pants but they’re too indecent now for anything but sleep. Steve likes how they look on Bucky. 

“Honestly, Steve, it’s okay.”

Steve runs his hand through his hair. “You really don’t have a problem-?”

“With you schtupping Howard’s kid? Nah, I’ll get over it. You’re probably lucky he didn’t have a daughter or she’d eat you alive.”

Steve tries to smile but it’s hard when Tony’s already consumed him, chewed him and spat him back out. “No, I mean the bit about-”

Bucky waves a hand. “Doesn’t matter a damn to me. ‘s long as you’re happy.” Bucky’s eyes are bright and shining and he looks at Steve with the sort of intensity of no one else on the planet. “You are happy, right, Steve?”

“Sure thing, Buck. Hey, d’you wanna watch the game?”

.

It’s different in the twenty-first century. It is less a question of proclivities and more a question of identities. Steve doesn’t think it needs to be a secret although it’s been heavily implied that the world, or SHIELD, is in no way equipped for a homosexual Captain America. 

He thinks that there are plenty of people who might need him, though. It’s legal but it’s not easy and Steve Rogers has never taken the easy way in or out of anything. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” he says to Tony, fingers idling over Tony’s collarbone and down over the scar where the arc reactor used to be. “I wouldn’t mind people knowing.”

Tony huffs a little and wriggles and says, “I would, Cap. I’ve enough battles to fight without this one.”

Steve nods and pretends he understands. He’s never been good at picking his battles; he’s always picked them all.

. 

Bucky’s got more freedom now. It’s why he lives in Steve’s place in Brooklyn. Steve spends most of his time at the Tower but, sometimes, when Tony’s away, he’ll go out to Brooklyn. Once, he arrives and Natasha is curled up on his couch, reading a well-thumbed copy of _The Fatal Eggs_. 

“Bucky-?”

“Is at some dive bar round the corner playing an arcade shoot-em up with Clint,” says Natasha. “We should never have introduced them. They’re upsetting the hipsters.”

Steve rolls his eyes and smiles and snags a book from his bookcase and curls up on the other end of the couch.

“Bucky’s happy, right?” he asks, after a while. 

Natasha puts down her book and it’s unnerving to be on the receiving end of her full, intense attention. “He’s happy, yeah. I think he’d be happier if he thought _you_ were happier.” 

“I’m happy,” says Steve. 

“Sure,” says Natasha and she turns back to her book, licking the tip of her index finger and turning a page, and leaving Steve with the unnerving notion that she knows more than he does.

.

“Basically, I can’t be seen to be, you know-”

“I know, Tony. I just thought-”

“I gotta be honest with you, Steve. Pep and me. I think there’s a chance she might take me back.”

Steve can’t pretend to know what happened between Tony and Pepper but he gets that Tony loves Pepper and that she loves him and that the split was due to a myriad of differences.

“You think that she’d have a problem with you sleeping with guys?” 

“I think she’d have a problem with me sleeping with one guy, like it’s a relationship, you know?” Tony looks up from the tablet he’s working on and flashes Steve a roguish grin.

Tony’s roguish grins are less effective than they used to be.

.

They’re at a charity event. It’s black-tie and Steve would rather be wearing his uniform, skin-tight though it may be. 

“Quit wriggling, Cap,” says Tony. “That’s Dolce and Gabbana.”

“I’m sure they’re swell guys and all, Mr Stark, but I feel like an overdone penguin.”

Tony laughs and presses Steve’s hand briefly and it’s enough to make Steve smile at him with all the sunny radiance he feels. 

.

Bucky and Steve go for a run through Williamsburg, taking it in turns to set the pace and set the route. 

“So,” asks Bucky, as they wait at a set of lights. There’s no traffic but Steve’s still waiting to be told to _WALK_. “You always been into guys?”

“Well,” says Steve, flushing now in a way that has nothing to do with all the miles behind them. “There was Peggy but -” He chews his lip and the light still says _DON’T WALK_. “Before the war, I guess - I guess I always noticed men more.” He swallows. “And I guess some of them noticed me. More than the ladies did, anyway.” 

“Huh.” Bucky nods. “Guess it makes sense. Never could understand why you didn’t make more of an effort with the gals we used to-”

“Hey, Buck, that’s not fair. I made an effort.” Steve says. _For you, at least_ , Steve thinks. “They weren’t interested.”

“Then they were fuckin’ stupid and all,” says Bucky. “You were the best guy in Brooklyn.”

 _WALK_ says the light and Bucky sets off at a stately jog leaving Steve standing stunned until Bucky circles back and herds Steve along. 

“You really don’t mind-?”

“You keep saying that, pal, like you think I should mind. Do you mind?”

“Do I mind what?”

“Liking dick?”

“ _Bucky_.” 

It’s strange how Bucky’s roguish grin makes Steve feel as though he’s part of the joke and not the butt of it. 

“Of course I don’t _mind_ \- You know I’ve never been ashamed of who I am.”

“Good,” says Bucky, with unexpected vehemence. “‘Cause you’re still the best guy in Brooklyn when you grace us with your presence. I hope Stark knows-”

“ _Bucky_.”

“Sorry. Just as long as he treats you right. He better be treating you right.”

They run on for miles, playing tag through the streets of Williamsburg until they’re tired and sweating enough to raise a few eyebrows in their nearest coffee shop. 

“Can I take my shirt off?” asks Bucky. 

Steve wants to say no but the guy behind the counter, with thick-rimmed glasses and a goatee, nods. “Sure thing.” 

Bucky peels off his shirt and wipes at his chest and cradles his iced coffee like it’s life itself. 

“Where is Stark?” Bucky asks as they walk home.

“Something in LA, I think,” says Steve. There’s a newspaper stand on the corner. Oh, it’s definitely LA and the headline is _Reconciliation?_ and the picture is of Tony and Pepper, hand in hand at the opening of a new daughter company of Stark Industries. 

“I’m sure it’s just for the business, pal,” says Bucky, hurrying Steve along. “You know. Stocks and shares and all of that shit. C’mon. Let’s go home.”

.

“I’m thinking,” says Steve, his head on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m thinking of coming out.” He’s doing more than thinking about it. He’s talked to Coulson about it and Clint descended from a panel in the ceiling of Coulson’s office to give him a fist-bump. 

He can feel Tony tense beneath him.

“You don’t have to have anything to do with it,” says Steve hurriedly. “I mean. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

Tony sits up, dislodging Steve. He doesn’t look angry, exactly. He looks incredulous. “And what are you gonna say when they ask if you’re seeing someone? You gonna lie, Cap?” 

Steve hates that Tony calls him Cap.

.

“I think it’s a great idea,” says Bucky. He picks up his tablet and pulls up a newspaper site. “I mean, I was looking at this site and did you know that there are still kids killing themselves over being gay?” 

He looks at Steve and Steve remembers too; how Harry O’Brien from the orphanage shot himself because there were rumours about him and some sailors down at the docks. 

“If Captain America’s gay-”

“Captain America _is_ gay,” says Steve. 

“I know, I know.” Bucky’s smiling brightly and he gives Steve a bear hug that makes his ribs creak and that makes him smile. 

“Coulson’s supportive.”

“‘Course he is. He and Barton-”

“Really?”

“Oh, you’re shitting me. Steve, you’ve got the worst gaydar of any gay man I know.”

“And how many gay men _do_ you know?”

Bucky starts counting on his fingers. “You. Coulson. Barton. I’ve got my doubts over Rand. Does Tony count even if he’s a dick?”

“ _Bucky_.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But he’s the one you should be brainstorming with, buddy, not me. What do I know about coming out?”

.

“You’re right, Tony.”

“Sure I am. What’m I right about?” 

“I wouldn’t be able to lie. If they asked me about who I’m seeing.”

“Oh. _Oh_. So that’s settled then.”

“Yeah. I. I think it’s. I think we had a good time, Tony. Didn’t we have a good time?”

“The best, Cap. Wait. _Wait_. Are you breaking up with me? Is this the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech?”

Steve tries to control his breathing. “It’s you a little, too, Tony. You still love Pepper.”

Tony frowns as though Steve has brought up a completely irrelevant point. “Is there someone else?”

Steve looks blankly at him. 

Tony barks out a laugh. “Right, right. Yeah. No. You’re right, Cap. You’re gonna move out?”

Steve knows a little about temptation so, yeah, he’s moving out and back to Brooklyn where Bucky’s stretched out on the couch in soft, worn sweatpants, reading a battered paperback collection of Chekhov’s plays. He flashes Steve a smile when Steve walks in and turns a page and he doesn’t even ask Steve how he is. He just reads aloud. “I often think, what if one were to begin life over again, knowing what one is about! If one life, which has been already lived, were only a rough sketch so to speak, and the second were the fair copy! Then, I fancy, every one of us would feel compelled not to repeat himself, at the very least to rearrange his manner of life.” 

Steve sits down, in front of the couch, leaning back. “Thanks, Buck.” He feels Bucky’s hand card through his hair. “Any time, pal.”

.

Captain America comes out. It’s dignified. He has the full support of SHIELD and of the Avengers. Tony Stark is quoted as saying, “Cap’s a great guy and I’ll bet he’ll make some man very happy one day and till then, I guess he’s gonna keep making the world a better place.” It’s widely believed that Pepper Potts wrote the statement. (It’s widely believed that Pepper Potts knows a great deal more than anyone has ever given her credit for.)

.

Bucky and Steve run through Williamsburg, playing tag and pausing at the stop lights. They stop into their local coffee shop and Bucky laughs at the newspaper clipping behind the counter, about Captain America and Williamsburg and tolerance and great coffee. There’s a rainbow flag above it. Steve blushes because he’ll never learn how not to do that. 

Bucky takes off his shirt, even though it’s winter and he puts his hand on the small of Steve’s back and Steve lets out a slow breath. He picks up the cardboard tray containing their coffees and Bucky leans in to smell it, like it’s life itself. He smiles at Steve and kisses Steve’s cheek, lips just touching the corner of Steve’s smiling mouth. 

“Home?”

Steve can only nod, helpless in the face of Bucky’s pride.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the one who loves must share the fate of the one he loves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058905) by [lanyon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon)




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